the misery index

From an analog hell to a digital heaven.

2011-05-17T20:57:00.006-04:00

As time vomits darts through space I can't help but see little bits of the android savior approaching. Shuffle learns what you like to hear. Thousands of establishments you frequent keep track of your preferences in order to better accommodate you. In not too long, personal communication and easy access to the digital masses will either be incredibly cheap or mostly free (probably taxed). The shine of the android butlers chrome plated head appears in blinding arches all across the market and the keyboard. Voice recorders. Hair brushes. fertmentaion, cultivation, but not mastication. GPS. (Kraftwerk Preached if for over 30 years. I'm only saying.)

possibly masturbation.

The android approaches and IT shall be a thing of beauty! I will...

Publi-city

2011-05-04T22:57:00.002-04:00

When Charlie Sheen was under attack in the media I thought it was funny. I don't condone violence or abuse of power or whatever else gets wrapped up in the mythology of Charlie Sheen the man; what I find funny is that celebrity is something that the media believes deserving of coverage.
Then Charlie Sheen gave that interview I could not escape reading/hearing/watching about and was forced to youtube to close the loop of curiosity and the comedy really began. I found no end to my laughter. If he was on a bender when he gave that interview, I don't know and don't care. It's funny none the less because I see it as undercutting that value of celebrity coverage addressed earlier.
To take advantage of the spotlight and start spewing forth things that would make even Charlie Manson's publicist cringe is why I gave the man kudos. That and I think the gibberish he said was actually funny. If you're going to smuggle money out of idiots that think you can keep this up on tour, hey man, they already think two and half men is funny...

the disney future

2011-03-26T11:43:00.003-04:00

In the future people will never have to move or touch the outside world. Also, octohedron highway signs

Barrio shoegaze? Tattoed Tears by Ice Cream Shout

2011-03-22T21:41:00.004-04:00

I never thought Mexican-american streetgangs and suburban dream pop could work so well.

If curious, the video footage comes from a documentary called Children of Violence, about the lifes of kids in a hispanic street gang in Oakland. A shitty (but I'm so glad it's there) cam recording of it can be found on youtube at the moment. (liiiiiink)

Also, mp3.

Viva el Morrissey

Hacker posts video on youtube, get sentenced to 9 years

2011-03-20T09:53:00.005-04:00

What, you mean posting a video of a break in and malicious installation of bot software on legally protected hospital computers is going to be seen by more than my loser hacker e-friends? Man, things have changed on the internet.

What I love about this video is his occasional rebel sneers. You don't need slick 90's techno and pvc jackets to see that in his head this guy is a web 2.0 incarnation of Zero Cool in a hoodie, a covert cyber rogue in the employ of.... THE ELECTRONIC TRIBULATION ARMY. Taking a look at his internet gang's website will basically show you all you need to know. If these people are enemies to Anonymous then I think I prefer the latter's sophisticated retardation to ETA's tricked out robot skulls and dubstep. who the fuck still thinks green and black command line aesthetics are still cool? Furthermore, Anonymous would likely be better at REMAINING ANONYMOUS.

Here's the story on Wired.com

Radiant Ann Taylor Hyperreality Shattered by Fatty Uproar

2010-08-04T20:27:00.008-04:00

Unphotoshopped image on left leaked via glitch from the Ann Taylor website. Hideous, isn't it?

Luckily they fixed the glitch and the touched up version is back onli-- oh wait. Now the unaltered version is back up. Did people write in about actually liking that tube of pigfat on the left? I guess there's no accounting for the taste of the mob.

Via Jezebel

Brian Bress is not sure what you're asking him

2010-08-01T11:40:00.002-04:00

Official Site
On Jewtube

22 going on 23

2010-05-29T15:38:00.003-04:00

Woman: I enjoy your show and I've been trying to get through for quite a
while.
Man: Well, We're glad you kept trying
Woman: Umm. I have this problem. Last July, I was assaulted...sexually,
and ever since then,
I've been having trouble sleeping.
Man: How old are you?
Woman: I'm 22 going on 23
Man: Medicine...Counseling...Anxiety...Sleep Programming
..Medicine...Sleep Programming
..Anxiety...Counseling...Medicine...Sleep
Programming...Depression...Anxiety...(etc.)
Woman: Well, they told me, when I have these bad dreams, to try and put
endings on the
dreams, like I come out a winner. But everytime i try to do that, I
just...don't get anywhere. It
seems, I keep having the same dream over and over every night, and
that's why I'm up so late.
Woman: And I watch one soap opera a day. And if he happens to walk in
the house, I'm
paranoid. I just jump up and turn off the TV. Except he says, "Is that
all you're gonna do all
day, just sit around and watch TV?" And I love to travel, so I've
mentioned traveling to him.
And finances are no problem. But he says that he did all the traveling
that he wanted to do while
he was in the service.

Fudge/St. Andy the First

2010-05-20T20:04:00.006-04:00

Do you want me to tell you about Andy?

Oh, go ahead.

Anything Andy does is fantastic because he's a saint.

A saint?

Yea.

St. Andy the First.

He really loves people, so anything he does is beautiful because he sees the best in everybody.

Mmm hmm.

He sees God wherever he looks, and in whoever he looks at. So that's why they call it art, because he's just very good, you know, he's very pure so they call it art, that's what they call art, and some things...just done, um, with a touch of divinity.

Fudge.

What?

Fudge.

She wears face paint and plays a ukelele

2010-02-27T15:03:00.004-05:00

and sings in a voice that rests somewhere between Joanna Newsom and Ella Fitzgerald. Mix in a two girl vocal chorus, xylophone and two bearded dudes on cello and bass (oh and some other girl i just now noticed) and you have some music that somehow fits this Saturday morning perfectly.

The band is called Honeycomb. I won't lie. After the first two the songs start sounding really similar. But at least it's a good sound in the first place.

Honeycomb live session @ One Night Music
Honeycomb @ Myspace

A cartoon with no friends

2010-02-11T21:03:00.005-05:00

Xiu Xiu have a penchant for making songs so sad they are funny but still sad, and quite honestly I think that's about the best combination of emotions possible in art. Sure enough, their sound has changed from minimalist idm/gamelan creepscapes to merely weird synthpop, their attitude remains in tact.

I say "they," but i guess it's just Jamie Stewart now. Given the content of the new album, "Dear God, I Hate Myself," i wouldn't be surprised if Jamie will become the new Trent Reznor. This I wouldn't mind much at first, because Xiu better shirts.

I'll end with a link to a song off the album. It involves Butters. Yeah, the character on South Park.

Xiu Xiu - Apple for a Brain

A Tool to Deceive and Slaughter

2010-01-26T17:34:00.010-05:00

1. Collector agrees that the Artwork will remain connected to a live Internet connection at all times, with disconnections allowed only for the transportation of the work from one venue to another.

2. Upon purchasing the Artwork, Collector may establish a new value for the Artwork. The new value may not exceed current market expectations for the Artwork based on the current value of work by the Artist. This value may be reassessed quarterly. This value will be set as the minimum bid of the auction. Any bid meeting or exceeding this amount will result in a legitimate sale via the Auction Venue and the Policies of the Auction Venue must be followed regarding this matter.

3. Collector must disclose the terms of this Agreement to persons bidding on the Artwork. Any successful bidder must agree to be bound by the terms of this Agreement before title to the Artwork is transferred to such bidder who shall then become the new and next Collector (the “New Collector”). These requirements and terms shall apply equally to Collector and any and all New Collectors.

4. Collector is responsible for any and all fees and charges generated by the Artwork on the Auction Venue.

5. In the event of a sale of the Artwork via the Auction Venue, Collector is required to sell the Artwork to the highest bidder. The Artwork must be properly packaged and promptly shipped to the New Collector. Prior to receipt of the Artwork, and as a prior condition to the sale and transfer of the Artwork, New Collector is required to execute this Agreement which shall evidence the agreement between Collector and New Collector to be bound by these terms.

6. The Auction Venue’s Terms of Service must be followed at all times and any failure to follow the Auction Venue’s Terms may result in additional penalty including the suspension of the Collector’s Auction Venue account by the Auction Venue.

The title sounds like a metal song. I looked it up but it only returned results for this.

Official site

What I'd do with alot of money, pt. 1

2009-12-28T18:52:00.003-05:00

I'd do the shit in these videos. I've always wanted to live in a haunted house, but one that is truly fucked with ghosts, none of the Ghosthunters bullshit. If I could find a house that does things like the the following videos I would have house parties constantly. Deadly house parties. With a cover charge.

Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go rewatch The Crucible and pretend I live in a shapeshifting castle. Happy New Everything.

easy, breezy, cyclopean covergirl

2009-12-21T10:22:00.002-05:00

Marketing Uber Alas / British Comedy Uber Youtube

2009-11-30T20:10:00.013-05:00

It's Monday, and you know what that means folks! New Post Day, or shall it may one day be known if the internet fully takes over and holds the thrones, yolks over the world leading us minions into the true digital age where the sky if forever tuned to an lcd youtube and the grass is much greener. Yes, the other side, sing it Jim! [laughter is met with vocal hums and dies]

No. This post is being posted because I have thought about something. The Internet; more specifically, Youtube. It's hilarious because I was watching the Frost Report and it mentioned how marketing is supposed to reflect the people. Then I find some Dumb kids. They mention Robert Frost. I stop watching the kids, fuck them. If I was a kid I might like them, but then again: "worst movie i have seen in 13 years of living it has litteraly vexed the life out my 13 years of living thank you for wanting me to kill myself from that video and why are you so gayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!! !" was written by MSoestricher9.

Either way, So I find "The Road Not Taken" and it was great because of how it was animated. Sure, I’d love to hear it again. So another version. This time, at the end I see it’s been a commercial all along and not some man reciting a poem. ~~It’s not some famous and well respected Shakespearean actor reading a classic. Ok, maybe it is I don’t know who this guy is, either way, it’s a commercial.~~ Alan Bates is the name of the man and is in fact hot shit: …since an interest in the films of Alan Bates is a definite sign of intelligence and taste, let's consider this page, which was suggested by someone who has just recently discovered him, a primer for the newly-arrived.

So this well respected actor recites a classic poem. The great actor: a profession that is in itself respected with its ties to the arts and Shakespeare if nothing else. And a Poem: the symbol of high class via language itself. And the united bank of Switzerland uses it to get the money of all the people that live in the culture emerged in such things as poetry and fine acting but more than that, the respect for those things in and of themselves. It’s brilliant advertising. It knows the audience and even has the courtesy (twice over as this recitation is intermission for a TV show that the bank is sponsoring) of entertaining them before they ask for something. It’s one of those surprise commercials that have become so popular as of late. And the rich love courteous surprises.

And it’s a bank, and a bank is money. And everyone wants it, or at least that’s what popular opinion would suggest it affords us, the commercial is telling us we are to be more like the upper class and oozing refinement if we want to have a connection to money. No, no, the upper class do not ooze, they … well I admit I’m not schooled too heavily in the upper class. I don’t think they curse much and have sex only when scheduled. Maybe they perspire it. I’m not sure. I know they perspire and never sweat though.

It’s great how Youtube works. I get wonderful comedy, then by freak occurances I see the satire in action. I think this whole thing, youtube included, goes hand in hand with what that episode of The Frost Report was talking about. And it’s damn funny, this chain of events (minus the stupid kids).

The internet is a cyborg. Think about that one... FUCK!

or, at the very least, it's the Borg ship, being built and expanded by an ever-growing number or devotees that feed off its proliferation. I hope this has been realized millions of times before, because if i'm the first to think about this, than this world is fucked. We should at least be conscious of what we are. Actually, I take that back, it doesn't fucking matter, but it's fun to think about.

Hyperlinks make it much more fun to quote things.

70% of the energy in the universe resides in empty space

2009-11-28T01:41:00.004-05:00

I think I hate Richard Dawkins. His snarky face, mostly, but his snarky brand of atheism as well. He does, however, have some decent speakers on his youtube page, among them this lecture by Lawrence Krauss on the origins and nature of space. It's long, but he's got jokes. He suffers from the same snarkitude as Dawkins, but graciously just sticks to the science.

...SMILE ALL THE TIME

2009-11-27T22:24:00.002-05:00

(it makes me laugh to think they look like an old gay couple in that picture)

People have been and continue to lose jobs. Every cut back is being put into effect. Yet Vanna White keeps her job. She doesn’t even turn the letters; she touches them. What kind of name is Vanna, anyway? I have nothing against you, Vanna. It's just that you confuse me. It's not healthy to smile so much.

On nerds

2009-11-27T14:33:00.004-05:00

To offset John's techno-enthusiasm I'm posting this three part webcomic. to clarify, I don't hate nerds, I just like to keep a balanced perspective on things.

Pictures for Sad Children

Open wide for the technolgy hug

2009-11-26T21:21:00.011-05:00

Technology consolidates space. One hard-drive for movies, one for music, one for back-up. If the Kindle goes well then add one for books. Looking at media in a more practical sense - -which I think is what IS happening- - books, dvds, cds, vinyl, magazines and comics can take up a lot of space. Imagine how much more effort it takes to move because of your possessions. Aside from the things listed, there are clothes, various technologies and possibly instruments and glassware. Imagine if all media was digital, given to its own hdd or a house server.

Music turned digital and downloaded (legally or otherwise) is much more easy than buying it. There’s no time in transportation taken. Along with that, there's a subtraction of interaction with humanity, as little as exchanging money with a clerk, obeying traffic laws with the rest of the people that don't want to die because of a complications with cars. (Maybe it's compensating with facebook and the millions of chat groups that popped up when the internet, as a public forum, was still in its infancy --imagine what that says about us while thinking of how the internet is mankind's time capsule and daily record, warts and all). Still, We're years away from seeing what we're turning into. I've long wanted to be a cyborg. It’s still a great wish of mine. As eager as I am to change the direction of my existence and become a cyborg, I am equally eager to see what direction my fellow man is going. It’s digital and there's no doubt about that. The way we balance the digital and analogue is going to be one hell of a headache. We see glimpses with online dating, and people spending more time in front of the computer because it has turned into the all mighty magic machine that can deliver any bits of media that anyone else deemed worthy of depositing into the capsule.

In Caprica, the new spin-off that is, in fact, a prequel to the most beloved BSG, the idea that we, each human being that has a digital existence and record, can be reduced to our hard-drives. Think about it. If I die, my taste in movies, music, books will be on my hard-drive. That’s my taste. If I had a blog, that adds to this information some memories and politics, which will be delivered in a fashion, mixed in and held together by my tastes. If I have a diary program or a simple txt document that I update every day and date, then I potentially have every memory. If my dna survives, my great great great great grandchildren can talk to a facsimile of me if this information is delivered in the right fashion.

The imagination and capacity for dreams propels our technological output while challenging our intelligence and dwarfing our limitations. One day this planet will be safe... I hope so. And I believe it will be due in no small part to technology. It will save us, even if it means our martyrdom.

I Think Andrew Bird songs can sometimes sound like songs by Jeff Buckley or Rufus Wainwright

Breaking News: The Apocalypse is Irrelevant

2009-11-25T09:05:00.007-05:00

No one likes a good apocalypse as much as me. that's what I thought, anyway, until I found out someone wrote an entire thesis on post-apocalyptic fiction. Her article, up at the much beloved io9 blog, is a pretty good summary of what and why apocalyptic literature means so much even when we have no idea how or why the world ended in the first place.

Disaster porn is no longer the point of the apocalypse. It doesn't matter how the world ends, just that it does. Making it to the End doesn't mean the story's finished; much of the time, it's only just gotten started. Stories of the End have never been about ending – they're about the beginning that comes after.

The bit about disaster porn is debatable, at least in the all powerful realm of the feature film, where the image, enhanced by calorie-induced popcorn euphoria, reigns supreme. The chance to watch every familiar feature of our modern world be destroyed is, I think one of the major drawing points for some of the most popular Armageddon stories, from Dawn of the Dead to 2012. But the also arguably recent tendency for global calamities to not be explained is fascinating and something I also noticed.

A video of Ms. Chanda Phelan presenting her thesis can be found at Vimeo here, and more random thought by her can be found at her blog.

Play The Tape

2009-11-23T20:25:00.010-05:00

This has nothing to do with Miles Davis. I like him, the artist. But this has nothing to do with him. Bitches Brew is great but has nothing to do with youtube. The last two minutes of this does, however. John McLaughlin writes imaginary dialogue where he tells Miles Davis, in complete emotional honesty, that he misses him. Miles Replies: “Roll the tape.” All I Can think of is How it’s on youtube. When everyone liked you (as with Miles Davis), you were on camera. The news, the media, you are media. You are created by demand of the consumer. Posting on youtube is a declaration of a channel or product. A new internet fame. I’m not too sure this will last. I think it will mutate rapidly into something that is more complex and psychologically frightening.

Now fame is magnificent. It blows up to such proportions and then plummets and reemerges but it isn’t TV and I bet TV is going to buy out music or have some wacky mergers. Super-power-houses that devour and breed. The world will become Science Fiction. The Will of Man will Triumph through Technology.

and only 3200 characters too big for twitter

Eric Yahker interview

2009-11-15T13:35:00.000-05:00

Fecal Face has an interview up with Erik Yahnker, (not) famous for his graphite drawings of people with poop on their heads, the word "cocaine" spelled out in identical Morks, and apparently some line animation of Seinfeld segments. Hilarious and recommended.

Q: What do you think your collective body of work thus far says?

A: That I'm a great lover.

An introduction of sorts

2009-11-08T21:00:00.000-05:00

Well, here I am. As digital as my orgasm. To preface my future posts, I put myself in context. As an authority on lazyness and procrastination, I feel I can say that it's not all that great. I haven't gotten very far with either of them. But I suppose I've things to say and relics from my many lapses of sanity. I hope you enjoy or at least tilt your head.

Totally Wreck

2009-11-08T14:26:00.000-05:00

"Greetings, my friend. We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember, my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future. You are interested in the unknown, the mysterious, the unexplainable. That is why you are here. And now, for the first time, we are bringing to you the full story of what happened on that fateful day. We are giving you all the evidence, based only on the secret testimonies of the miserable souls who survived this terrifying ordeal. The incidents, the places, my friend, we cannot keep this a secret any longer. Let us punish the guilty. Let us reward the innocent. My friend, can your heart stand the shocking facts about grave robbers from outer space?" *

Some nights, soaked in sadness and drunk with the lack of sleep which often precludes such revelations and reveries, I can sometimes stumble upon visions by prophets which crisply illuminates the edges of our bitter contemporary world. Thing is, these prophets are composed more of fictional memories and movie clips than anything "real". Luckily, there's artists such as those in the Austin, TX collective Totally Wreck.

I first came across this group via their YouTube channel, which features a collection of blurry and iridescent videos ranging from droney color studies of over saturated VHS tape to fabulously disorienting variety shows. Seemingly to do more with the past than the future, the video makes a strange, blissfully comfortable connection between the sedated psychedelic retro-futurism of the 1970's and the franticly connected, overstimulated present. No, this isn't new. Like so many others they seem to spring from the glittering entrails of the now mythical Rhode Island art scene. If nothing else, though, it provides yet another node in that seemingly endless chain of associations, and further proof that the mode is not yet dead.

The typically inflated exihibition blurb for the groups Berlin show, Totally Berlin, offers some thoughts and a quote by collective member Ciscneros:

"By pushing the limits of neon green screens and DIY costumes the group forces the everyday into a tense hyper-reality through their exploratory imaginations, which transcend time and space. Their zeal for hyper-infinities is manifested in futuristic narratives that portray fantastical characters striving to create alternate identities in the "digital age". Those characters are embodied by the collective’s overlapping realities. The work blurs the line between occult sub-culture and futuristic predictions. It draws upon references and inferred associations to archaic societies melded with technology to form a hybrid understanding of a world to come."

"Johnny Cisneros states: 'I believe in the unadulterated possibilities of the future and the development of a decisively post-20th century aesthetic and values. The belief in its ability to broaden man’s horizon of possibility of thought, to toss the notions implausibility and the laws of physics aside in an effort to break through barriers of mental, physical and spiritual human possibilities.'”

Though this just makes me think of a video I saw wherein MGMT's Andrew VanWyngarden stutteringly pronounces the beginning a new psychedelic generation of love and colors everything is colors everything is beautiful -- right of course, whatever -- it mimics the symptoms of most other art world advertisements: good points stated in atrocious language. My favorite pictures and videos from this group embody a playful contemporary mysticism. Like PaperRad or Ryan Trecartin they revel in hysterical (both manic and hilarious) juxtaposition, donning post apocalyptic vestments composed of accumulated childhood toy bin trash

or portray more silent understated lapses into folksy homages to hex signs and visual poetry -- or baphometic rituals as embodied in this article's opening image.

Like other the technicolor prophets it's hard to tell whether these works foretell doom or paradise. The collection entitled "Economic Crisis 20012" perhaps puts it in proper perspective. Baffled in a world where the president of the United States opens for Lady Gaga, massive systems of finance and trade which barely anyone can fully understand casts its shadows over middle class comfort, and Wikipedia articles on Sonic the Hedgehog and Abu Graib are of comparable length, there is perhaps only one conclusion to draw.

Totally Wreck Blog

Everyone is miserable.

2009-10-31T21:01:00.000-04:00

Might as well Share it.

This is a blog for Sharing.