Wednesday, June 24, 2015

That Catastrophic Aesthetic

Photo by Adam Wallacavage, taken shameless and without asking from his instagram page

I really tried hard to figure out what beers to buy on my way home today. I planned to write a review of some comic, and having suffered through the eight hour first world problem that is a busy tuesday at work, I needed something to slow my thoughts down enough to grab them. I wasn't keeping track of the weather. I didn't take note of the massive wall of doom in the sky over Philadelphia.

I made it to Beer Heaven, yes that's what the beer store is called, in time to make getting out of the car a small act of bravery. I drove from sunshine New Jersey to hell-sky Pennsylvania in 30 minutes, and by the time I was at the last stretch to Heaven I saw the air turn grey and evil, the leaves lift from the ground and spin in clouds across everything, and heard the wind roar. Then the torrents of rain started. Huge globs of rain. Since I'm so brave I parked and ran in and out of Beer Heaven as the Gods pissed down upon me, knowing now that I would need at least one bottle of Victory Storm King.

Deptford, New Jersey, where car-flipping hell broke loose

I've had a couple apocalyptic dreams the past couple weeks and I'm on this weird end of the world kick. All I could think was: this is it. This is where I begin to hate myself for not stocking up on guns and canned beans and survival tactics. I'm dumb and I'm also an asshole, because apparently half a million people are without power because of this storm. Trees were downed, shingles were torn. A fucking car was flipped over at a mall I used to go to as a kid, all because of the gusts from this freak 30 minute storm. I wouldn't be surprised if I woke up tomorrow and it was more devastating than is now apparent. Hoping for the best.

Somehow I didn't notice this on the ride home

At one point, around sunset, I get a text suggesting I look out the window, and I do. The whole city had turned orange from the moisture in the air catching the sunset and spreading it all over. I rushed to put my pants back on so I could go see what the world looks like after the apocalypse. I was not disappointed. Never has golden hour been so gold.

I saved a bunch of pictures I found of this massive orange sunset from a group I'm in on Facebook. The last two are my own, taken while roaming the street, belly full of Storm King, feeling orange and astonished.










Monday, June 15, 2015

3 Items for a Monday

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It's Monday, but don't worry about it, it's almost over. And there's been some exciting developments around the world and across the solar system that may reaffirm you're faith in the value of being alive all weekdays, Monday included. I'm going to list some now, but if you don't feel particularly inspired by them I refute any responsibility for your continued hatred of the work week and the rest of existence.

Item 1: Vintage Science Fiction Magazine Omni has been released on Archive.org

Founded in 1978 by co-founders Kathy Keeton and Penthouse publisher Bob Giuccione, Omni Magazine was a monthly collection of science news, science fiction, science speculation, with some spiritual / paranormal fuckery mixed in for finishing. This publication had consistently on-point cover art, original fiction by some of the most famous names inside and outside of genre fiction, and a hedonistic enthusiasm for the bizarre future they knew would soon devour their culture. They were the original publisher's of stories by William Gibson, George R.R. Martin, William S. Burroughs, and also had a hand in popularizing H.R. Giger's paintings.

There are a lot of issues up, and I barely had a chance to look at any of it. Topicly they can be everywhere, but the same theme pervades: the psycho-social effects of knowledge and technology on our fragile little societies. I need to take a day and a six pack to look through it as much as possible. Who knows what kind of tech-anxieties and science dreams we've forgotten about that are waiting there for us to find again.


Item 2: We landed a thing on a fucking comet seven months ago and that shit's finally working!

I'm using "we" very lightly so you can feel like you did something. You didn't do shit, and if you're in America or any other non-European non-member state (with the exception of Canada) you did even less. This comet lander was the product of the European Space Agency, or ESA. To ensure conspiracy theorists have enough to occupy their time, the lander was named after an ancient Egyptian obelisk which, along with the Rosetta stone, helped humanity understand what the Egyptians were saying with all those little pictures.

It's news because one: The spacecraft didn't land where it was supposed to land, bounced a couple times and almost escaped the comets gravity altogether, then fizzled out of functionality for 7 months, before waking up a couple days ago fully functional and ready. Before it fell asleep it took some amazing pictures of the comet 67P/Churyumov–Gerasimenko from a distance. I remember seeing these ominous photos a while ago and being amazed, and then being devastated that it looked like the mission was an almost complete waste due to a crash landing. So it's an inspirational comeback story.

And because two: As far as we can tell no one has landed on a comet before. That's important somehow. Here are a couple of those beautiful pictures:




Item 3: Better bullshit through technology

Have you ever wanted to invent a story and make it reality? Of fucking course you have, man. Thanks to flash-research in the age of Wikipedia and Google, you can almost sorta maybe do that, if enough people don't have the resources or interest to look into the facts. Yes, it happened, according to this article in The Kernel.

In 2002 a couple of movie nerds, haggard from from a day in the film industry and perhaps knocking back Belgian trippels at just the right pace, invented a man, a maniacal film director who's methods were toxic to his film crew's psychology. Their names were Gavin Boyter and Guy Ducker. A venting session at a Belgian restaurant (in London) turned into an 11 year journey to turn this fictional psychotic director, dubbed Yuri Gayudkin, into a historical fact using Wikipedia, Youtube, Facebook, and any other internet information channel available to them. Their hoax was so convincing, that a completely unassociated hopeful playwright was getting ready to pen a script about the entirely fictional auteur. He wrote to the author of a blog about Gayudkin, who was a friend of Boyter and Ducker, asking for more facts about Gayudkin, as "information is really sparse on the web." All of the information he needed was of course lodged firmly in Boyter and Ducker's asses.

Feel better yet?

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Nameless, or, "Grant Morrison Just Wants to Watch Them Bleed"



What we all love about Grant Morrison is how resolved he is to make the traditionaly trashy or silly into something profound. Nothing new. Everyone wants to, and only a few are successful, and only one does it, effectively, with the calculated use of gigantic weaponized sperm cells.

Thus far, Nameless isn't that. From the three issues I've read there's not yet any attempt at philosophizing the esoteric references to current events, modernist architects, and ancient religions he slaps on every other page. Yeah, it's all there, that encyclopedic emesis Morrison loves to spew at you, and it's not unenticing to look into every bit of triviality, but it's so obviously not what's on display here. It's a vehicle for what ultimately feels like a gory sci-fi body-horror B-movie with culture. In short, it's pretty fun.

I honestly don't think Grant knows anymore.
The world, unlike a lot of Grant Morrison's settings, isn't a future filled with the noise of abruptly changing information structures, and no one is falling into their own mindhole and discovering glowing discs of knowledge that forever alters their world view. It may as well be set in the present, albeit a present where, for reasons not yet explained, lizard people and naga stalk the land and suburbs, making families happily massacre themselves, and hunting after our square jawed and stubbled protagonist, named Nameless (because names have power, he says) after he nabs a mystical key on behalf of his client.

Brave and handsome
Nameless is an occultist for hire. He's like a John Constantine in need of a long relaxing bath and some benzedrine. When we meet him he's recalling December, a "cunt of a month", when things started to get markedly Lovecraftian. None of Constantine's reflectiveness here; No philosophy. He needs money so he's doing this thing and now there's fish people trying to rip out his throat, then there's a fucking lady in a veil with a bulbous fleshy parasite on her face, and he knows her pretty well and he's so over her shit already, and it feels like just another fucked up day in his happy life. Nameless, through all three issues, retains this air of haggard wisdom, always knowing at least a bit about what's happeing, though not enough to save his or his company's asses.

The people who want the key, and who eventually get the key after some intense effort on the part of Nameless, turns out to be a secretive and privately funded corporation run by a billionaire named Darius. Darius, appearing only mildly Asian and generally smiling, wants to save the planet from a hulking fuck of a space boulder named Xibalba, after the Mayan underworld. He's at once an altruist and a capitalist and someone who uses his money to advance human knowledge. A mildly asian Elon Musk, in other words. Darius even floats around remotely from a base located on the dark side of the moon using a video-conferencing hele-drone, as we all know Elon Musk would love to do.

Xibalba's not just an asteroid. This thing is marked on a long flat side with a rune the size of a mountain. It's apparent that the asteroid does not simply intend to smash into the Earth like any amateur space rock: It has a payload, and Darius employs Nameless to find out exactly what the world is getting into, and how to stop it.

That's issue one. It's not much, to be honest. Issue two and three, however, is when the series begins hitting it's stride. Nameless and a team composed by Darius go to space to meet Xibalba headon and deploy drones with sensory equipment to explore what turns out to be an asteroid full of alien structures, "brutalist" in design and obviously not meant for children. Shit goes down, eyeballs with giant talons attack, and Grant Morrison smashes and reassembles the narrative in that special, and in this instance creepy, Grant Morrison way.

In a nutshell
Sometimes the art, done by Chris Burnham, feels like Quitely. Not to knock the artist, he's fantastic. There are some clever panel sequences, and the panels depicting the journey of the drones through that brutal alien architecture are done with a real sense for how massive and lonely celestial objects really must be. Xibalba seems not to be of exclusively extraterrestrial or supernatural origin, but a mixture of both, in a way that implies that maybe the two were one and the same all along (shades of The Invisibles here). Chris Burnham gets both across, with covers and splash panels alluding to creatures that reside in lonely H.R. Geiger space fortresses, but look like amorphous demons made of shapeshifting muscle tissue, and that do things to human bodies straight out of medieval Hell.

Whether the book will reach for some big-deal psychological or philosophical conclusion has yet to be seen, but I have a feeling Grant Morrison just wants to rip people apart and destroy civilization for a bit. Looks like Morrison's taking all his occult and science fiction training, and using it to make an irreverent, gory, AND clever monster movie. In Nameless #3 we get a glimpse of Xibalba floating on the horizon, it's ominous rune staring down at us all, and we just know it's getting ready to make life interesting in painful and horrifying ways. Honestly, can't wait.


Sunday, April 5, 2015

Matthew Houston / NeverRider


Matthew Houston is from Illinois, and he made a comic, but it's his illustrations that I want to write about. He makes lines with monastic calm and OCD repetitiveness and makes scenes and characters that feel like a medieval Saturday morning cartoon. My favorite drawings by him take place in a medieval world and resemble at times medieval illustrations. They're are executed in this semi flat, slightly stretched fashion that always feels slightly off, and which adds to the sleepy edge each drawing has.





In a style like this, figures get iconic, and it's easy to pose them in a symbolic light, because everyone looks like a fucking tarot card. Houston adds some slight contortions in postures and gestures to make certain the vibe is a little creepier, a little more anxious, but still monastically chill. 

































Mr Houston is also a huge fan of things. For instance, he drew a series of full body portrait drawings with Marvel Comic characters. He made them look like royal knights with fancy guy armor.



Some times he draws faces that look retarded. I dunno, it happens to everyone. 


He's good. Have looks see. There he is on DeviantArt and there he is on Tumblr, and here he is trying to be a bad ass with his own personal website. Matthew Houston. Go. 




Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Sad bunnies

Here are some chocolate bunnies being melted. There's sad music playing. Enjoy.


Chocolate Bunny from Lernert & Sander on Vimeo.

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